1. |
Garo Robe
01:45
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emptiness cloaked in darkness
paralyzed limbo
terminal
falling through a tree trunk
lights of masks engross your surreal fall
the airless pain of becoming a stalfo
at last I have eased my regrets
so believe in your strengths
for this is no place for life like you
join the ranks of the dead
and let your regrets wander into the moon crashing overhead
I shall consume everything
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2. |
Retentive
02:15
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that’s the worst thing, you will always endure
sitting on the sidelines, you're helpless like i am
watching all of them give themselves away without any pleasure
keep me quiet and keep me still so I might have a second to think about you long enough to remember all of this before it ends
selfish and quiet, you’re not gonna save a thing
selfish and quiet, you’re won't save a thing
selfish and quiet, you cannot save a thing
selfish and quiet, you’re not gonna save a thing
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3. |
Perfect
01:20
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looking up was delusion
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4. |
Sins
03:15
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i could count my sins and so i did that of which would shame them unto the one that shook so well, she who was to blame then. through fuck and blood, a flood of muck; thoughts on minds to bend them to swirls that whirl and melt and curl so as not to defend them.
i could shoot myself to let thoughts out
to show the ones who always have sought doubt
through the still smoking hole that my descending soul had pulsating cysts that drank blood from my wrists
its not easily covered up but i’ll try
knees caving back, sawed through by the pack
scraping and skidding my skin is sordid all torn and scorned, bloody and worn.
I could count all my sins and slowly I did.
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5. |
Strong
03:48
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clutched detest you nearly walked out
but your eyes wouldn't let you walk to the door
your anxious feet shift, teemed with blood unsure
of what your closing veins had to say
your skin tugs in minded rush as your teeth and your tongue spit out recited hush
how have you been, its been so long. forgetting (forgiving) everything I (you) did wrong. bleeding out into a stupid song, but did you find everything you need to feel strong?
"So sit back and take it for what it really is, a moment of success that could never replace all of the hurt you gave I can't forgive you. All the lies you said and promises you left for me to second guess myself and everything that I once held true. I fucking hate you."
"Should I even put an effort into this potential failing bliss? That would just cause me to relive all of your shit. I cant forgive your dark and scorning voice, turning words to noise by choice that I clearly do mishear through paper walls, my ears are mauled as I hear that “I fucking hate you”
I’m so glad you’re back
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6. |
Wastin'
04:36
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as your lungs heal from that last hit, remember all the mistakes you now live with
your future's not based on me or any of the things you thought could be
working so hard on something, scared to admit that it's all worth nothing all the same and that you’re wasting away and falling apart
but don’t give up on this
cuz i for one would like to see what you made without you being hung up on what they say
lets shut them out, at least for today
i guess 3 weeks didn’t seem so long but its never easy admitting when you’re wrong
but through all your pain i want you to remember one thing, you’re not the only one like you cuz i am dead too
don’t be scared, i’m not asking for forever, i just wanna do nothing with you for a couple hours
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7. |
Selfish
04:40
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voices bounding in my ears, now there's bloodstains on your favorite shoes. lettered words that cut like shears, a small break between the noise. finally i hate my friends, what happens now? moistened splitting spitting lips, incidentally innocent you say: "breathe slow, no one's ever gonna hear your voice." sleep won't do me any good, not this time. cuz it's all on your face, scraped into your skin. and i wanna be with you, but that's too much to ask.
lose yourself in some sort of binge, until all you have left to lose is teeth and skin. cuz you chose the petty way through life, but at least i know now that you're not worth my time.
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8. |
Dizzy
02:43
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theres no words in this one dummy
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9. |
Demitri
03:30
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so if you don't believe me, that’s up to you i've done about all i can do to help this situation, and if you have to go please remember you are my best friend.
i think i've been here before this familiar overwhelming warmth is cuddly and welcoming i feel it taking over me as it swims all up into my pores and rips away my borrowed soul, sudden phantasmagoria brings forth profound euphoria and helps me realize and come to terms with how small i am
i just wanna be perfect for you
but all that’s over now
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10. |
Impermanent
04:39
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today you’re going to die. the world won’t stop for a second. sure, they’ll come to your funeral; one day’s not that inconvenient.
death isn’t ending, you’ve always been dying the very first time that you opened your eyes you were given the name and the words and the thoughts that would slowly trick you into thinking that you had been alive. it’s all the same. we’re all just fragile molded brains. ignorant and stupid we made lies up like cupid to put weight on reproduction just to be obnoxiously vain. and today i’m going to die. that’s ok with me. don’t cry at my funeral. why be affected by something so visceral? emotions are fleeting and flesh is decaying, the world remains dying and spinning unbound in the silence of space where we barely exist as we selfishly look for the things that we never found. it’s all the same. you, your friends, and all your relatives. everyone’s impermanent.
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11. |
Nightmares
02:56
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monsters shouldn't scare you
monsters shouldn't scare me
but it gets hard, it's so dark in here
maybe when you get a little older, you won't worry so much
even when they whisper your name, they can't hurt you now please come back to bed
don't let the nightmares drag you down into their lair where all your other dreams have died cuz you're too scared to try
don't be scared to try
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M A T H West Covina, California
josh lopez's bedroom recording project. making songs and finite physical albums since sophomore year of high school.
